A Book In A Month - Chapter 31 - The Final Chapter

Every body makes it to Agra. Clara is both sad for her father and his need to shield her from her origins and furious with her father for shielding her from her origins. Keith is overwhelmed with the revelations about his mothers hideous past and the pivotal role John had in securing her safe entry into the UK and in the safe upbringing of her daughter. Jane wonders how John will feel about her and Clara sharing a bedroom, once he is appraised of the reason; and, Clara has insisted, he will be appraised of the situation. Dylis prays that she will not get caught in the father daughter cross fire and is concerned about the reaction of Clara to the romance that has blossomed between John and herself. And John; John simply hopes that he still has a daughter who is willing to call him dad after all the lies have been aired.

They all meet in the foyer of the hotel. They have the look of a peace delegation. No one is happy. The chill of the air conditioned lobby intensifying the frostiness. John, sitting bolt upright with his hands clasped tightly together in his lap and Dylis sitting demurely beside him with her right hand resting on his forearm. Clara quietly asks her father to tell her their family history. She makes it very clear that she knows every thing and is looking only to hear it from his own lips.

John looking down at his hands, begins with the bird book saying, “It's hard to believe that something as innocuous as a book about birds should bring down my house of cards. I really thought that we had got away with it. How wrong I was. Arrogant, that was always my problem” He sighed, with his head still lowered, he fumbled in his jacket pocket, but Dylis, being ahead of him, pushed a handkerchief into his hand. He wiped his eyes and without lifting his head went on. “I'm so sorry we brought all this on you, but we wanted a child so desperately and it never happened. When Simon wrote to say that Natasha had washed up on his doorstep in a desperate situation, well, we hatched a plan. We announced that we were expecting and I got time off work, compassionate leave. No pay, mind you, but it gave us the time we needed to get here, before Natasha gave birth. We were worried sick that she might have you early.” He made an effort to look at Clara, but his head barely moved, it was as if weighted down. “You arrived after we did, thank goodness. We had time to convince the locals that your, your, that Violet was expecting and I was lorded as the returning hero for wanting our child to be born in India.” He paused for a long while, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose. Shaking his head slowly and speaking in a whisper he continued, The group leant in close in order to hear what he had to say. “ I don't know how to say this. I am truly sorry Clara, but your mother did not want you. It is true to say she wept as she handed you to my beautiful Violet, but she did not want you. She had lost so much, her entire family that she loved above every thing and there you were, the living embodiment of all that horror. She could never keep you. She feared you.” He stopped again to staunch the tears, blow his nose and acknowledge the comfort of the hand on his arm, “We loved you from the first moment we saw you. We would have died to help you. In that first instant you became everything to us. We were fascinated. We couldn't have been more besotted if we had made you ourselves. You became our daughter. We loved you so much.” John broke down sobbing, “We didn't want to lie, but we had no choice. You do see that, don't you? How could we tell you the truth? What could we leave in, or out?”

“Why didn't you take the chance when you bought the job-lot at the auction? You must have known straight away that it belonged to Simon. That's probably why you bought it.” Clara mumbled.

“I realised when you said whose topi it was. I was taken aback, naturally, but I knew that Natasha was local. Our paths never really crossed, but if they did, and no children were around, I, or your,” He faltered, “Violet, would update her about you. I had to pile lie on lie. Simon loved bird watching and wildlife, it was what kept him in India long after he should have come home. He loved nature and the open road and the chaos of this place. I had to alter that bloody map. I threw away my first attempt because it all matched up so perfectly. That was no surprise to me, but I couldn't let you see it. I had to stop you going any further with all this. You kept saying you were the end of the line. That there might be another branch of the family out there somewhere. Well you're not the end of the line, I am. When I go, we go, the Smiths die out. But your true family is a big one. Maybe you were right to seek the truth, it might make you happy to be part of a big family. After all this one's had it” He fell silent.

The dull buzz of the air conditioning drifted between them ready to carry the first word spoken out across the gaps to the suspended group. No word came. The buzzing swirled, eyes were fixed, staring into the middle distance.

“Can I bring you some more drinks?” the question made them all start out of their dream.

“That would be lovely,” Said Dylis, “Do you have Champagne?”

*

The taxi arrives and the 5 squash into it as the turban wearing driver holds open the door. Dylis is ecstatic that her dream is about to be realised. And holds Johns hand tightly. Clara sits on Janes lap and kisses her on the cheek. Keith grabs the seat next to the driver and they all hang on as the beaten up old car lurches into life to the sound of its horn.

Clara and Jane disgorge first and holding hands they wait for the others to join them. First Keith and then Dylis and John who are also holding hands. Dylis shakes Johns hand and nods, discreetly, towards the two girls. He looks shocked; so many secrets revealed. Perhaps it is his turn to be to be shaken to the core, but somehow, after all thay have been through today, it simply does not matter. The truth is unleashed, he still has a daughter, she has the family she always wished for and a partner she adores. Life may not be simple, John thought to himself, but sometimes we make it so much harder than needs be. Snapping to, John waves his walking stick, indicates the incline that is lined with brightly coloured stalls selling a range of small and glittering trinkets. They set off picking their way through the offerings, buying little things that catch their eye as they process towards the entrance to the Taj Mahal.

And there it is, at the end of a long, arrow straight leet, looming from the water, rising up into the flawless blue sky, shimmering, both solid and ghostly.

Standing before this hazy shrine to a lover, the five stare in silent wonder. Watching the two pairs of lovers he is with, as they hold hands in rhapsody, Keith feels very alone. Clara reaches out and draping her arm around his waist, she pulls him in close, and calls him, “Bruv.”